by Professor Mesfin Wolde Mariam
Elder mediation is a shrine to millions of Ethiopians. Conflict is inevitable within communities and within families. The traditional mediation used to lubricate discord and replace tension with negotiation is very different in form and in character from the process we experience in the name of elder mediation today. In Ethiopian tradition, elder mediation has a spiritual basis. Elder mediation is a deed of God.
Elder mediation is a spiritual shrine for reconciliation, peace and love. This shrine does not have a building. It has been passed on through generations borne in the mind, conscience and spirit of the competent elder. The elder with authority to mediate is someone who is endowed with this authority spiritually, morally and intellectually. This phenomenon has been passed on through generations. I believe that the following are the primary spiritual bases for elder mediation.
“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”
“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”
“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”
The words may not be the same, but I believe that there is a similarly strong philosophy in Islam as well. Reconciliation, love and peace have enormous spiritual value, which becomes seriously compromised when they are given any other kind of value. They become a commodity. They become a source of shame and embarrassment to both the mediator and the conflicting parties.
So, who qualifies as an elder mediator? There are several characteristics that are essential requirements. Spirituality is one. The way I understand spirituality, it means to remain loyal to the truth, to equality and to justice. Elder mediators have to be “those who hunger and thirst after righteousness.” They have to be people who will not submit to either power or to wealth.
They have to have the fear of God, and a concern for humanity, and be guided by love and stand for peace. Intellectually, they have to be well versed in society’s history, traditions and norms. Through the witty use of proverbial stories, they have the eloquence to explain, convince, bring together and reconcile by tactfully exposing difficult and embarrassing issues. They have the wisdom to carefully bring out fermenting issues and initiate healing.
These are the reasons that those sought after for elder mediation are those who have the spiritual and moral authority. They are respected and command an audience. They are, above all, trusted. A commentator stated something profound in speaking recently on BBC regarding the atrocities suffered by Palestinians. He said that weak individuals will not bring about peace. Those sought after for elder mediation have strong spiritual courage and cannot be weak.
I do not refer to spiritual authority only in terms of ordination. Descent elders with no ordination could have spiritual authority If they are very well respected by society and highly regarded,it means that they have moral and spiritual leadership. The spiritual authority of religious leadership on its own does not merit the role of elder mediator. However, a religious leader who has accepted the rules of the Kibre Negest will no doubt have authority as elder mediator. Kibre Negest states, “The common people under the King, will not badmouth the King”, and then adds:
“As the heart of the ordained is filled with Christ’s light of truth and is designated as the light that removes darkness, a conscientious religious leader will chastise the King about his own adverse observations. Oh, religious leader, when you observe a known sin, be not afraid to chastise. Be neither afraid of the sword, or of exile.”
One does not qualify as elder mediator if one is simply a religious leader but lacks the moral courage. The authority obtained through ordainment will not translate into authority in the social context. The person has to be “the light of truth” in order to be able to remove darkness, conflict, mistrust and discord.
We also need to recognize the need for truthfulness in elder mediation. “The truth shall set you free” is a basic tenet of elder mediation. The purpose of elder mediation is to set the perpetrator free from his sin, and the victim from vindictiveness. An inconclusive attempt to reconcile cannot become mediation.The reconciliation will not be enduring. In mediation, the perpetrator is identified, the violation is named, the degree of the violation is measured, the frequency and duration is assessed and the perpetrator is then asked to either provide adequate compensation, or made to carry a stone and ask for forgiveness. The effort to make the perpetrator provide compensation or ask for forgiveness is no less important than the effort to make the victim free of all vindictiveness. It is to invalidate the saying, “The victim will never forget, even if the perpetrator does”. It is this sense of vindictiveness that is passed on for generations when the name “Demmelash” is given to newborn sons.
It is said that a king desirous of reconciliation can be mediated by a peasant, but a peasant not wishing for reconciliation cannot be mediated even by a king. This is because the problem is not just with the perpetrator, but rather also with the victim who, given the opportunity, may retaliate with another violation. A victim will harbor the resentment. The purpose of elder mediation is to completely remove this sense of vengeance. This cannot be made to happen through cover-ups. In a society where covering up is the norm, it is really hard to believe that such cover-ups will bring about an enduring reconciliation. Covering up and reconciling will only result in delaying the conflict, and perhaps even escalating it.
In a society prone to exacerbating problems than resolving them, it is necessary to have shrines whose observations and testimony is enduring and based on the truth. As the saying goes, Even the shrub can stand for a tree where there are none. The moral, spiritual, righteous and Godly purpose of elder mediation is now transformed so much that it has become a cheap commodity. Saleable mediation is alien to the purpose and characteristics of traditional Ethiopian elder mediation. Westerners have mediators for marital conflict and labor conflict and the like. This kind of mediation is not elder mediation. It is a trade. The truth can be replaced by craft, and the result may not last.
Those who are afraid of the truth will not qualify for traditional Ethiopian elder mediation. At the risk of sounding like I am boasting, I will share the story of this young, mature hard-working secretary at Haile Sellassie I University. Her mother was going to marry her off to someone she had identified, while she was in love with someone else. She ran away and went to Asmara, and her brother came to me for help. I was able to track her down and convince her to come to Addis Ababa and stay with me while I arranged for a meeting with her mother.
Mother and daughter were seated across the room from each other. I started speaking to the mother about how regrettable it was that she had disappointed her beloved daughter, who cares about her so much, by trying to force her to live according to her own will rather than according to the daughter’s own desire, when she was mature and responsible enough to make these decisions herself. Suddenly, the mother jumped from her seat and fell at her daughter’s feet, begging for forgiveness, as the daughter was doing the same. With them both on the floor overcome with emotion, I was choking with tears and left the room. Today, this young woman has grown children having married the man of her choice. I admire the mother’s acceptance of the truth. The truth sets you free.
There is another example that actually involves all of Africa. When Emperor Haile Sellassie founded the Organization of African Unity (I doubt that it can be said that anyone else did), there was a conflict among many powerful leaders (such as Nasser, Benbela, Nyrere, Idi Amin). It was the moral authority of the Emperor that compelled them all to remain in the convention hall until about 2 or 3 in the morning when the Charter of the Union was finally signed. The happiness and pride that I felt that day was immense. To those of us who were there, it was a miracle that all those arrogant dictators were finally convinced and compelled to sign the document. There is moral authority when one stands firmly grounded in the truth carrying a clear purpose beneficial to all the conflicting parties.
Who seeks reconciliation? Those who desire peace seek reconciliation. Those who believe that above them is the Creator, the law and the power of the people and those who have foresight seek reconciliation. Those who feel they are accountable to no one, those who will violate with impunity, and believe that they have the power to do so, have no other authority than their might. Therefore they will see no reason to seek reconciliation. On the part of the victim, there is a saying that a victim living in poverty will promptly ask for forgiveness. This is in the hope that by posing as perpetrator the powerless can convey that he holds no grudge. However, both the victim, and the perpetrator are bound by the chains of the violation. The perpetrator lives under constant fear and concern that with opportunity, the victim may retaliate. The victim lives under constant fear and concern that with opportunity the perpetrator may strike again for fear of retaliation. It is precisely this concern and fear that reconciliation will remove. This is why it is said that: The truth will set you free. This is why, elder mediation should be based on truth.
We saw what happens when elder mediation loses its basis in truth when Birtukan went to prison. Of those who were involved in the elder mediation such as Professor Ephrem , and Pastor Daniel, who used to say these wonderful prayers for us; and Ato Tamiru (although he joined only towards the end of the process, he helped us understand the legal aspects and shared his expertise), not one has come forward to give their testimony to the public. This has happened in spite of the fact that the truth has blown up in our faces and someone is in grave danger. That they have chosen the safety of their silence is quite revealing of the quality of the mediation that took place.
Still, this shouldn’t detract from our gratitude to these elders in recognition of the concern and good wishes they expressed for us while in prison, and of their desire and effort towards bringing about peace in the country.
In any case, if we cannot hear the truth from them, it is inevitable that we will speak out about what we know.
